Monkey Business
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Barney has left for Colorado, and Marshall, Lily, and Robin wonder why.  Ted has the answer.  Community references.  T because I'm paranoid.


**So I really don't know How I Met Your Mother well enough to write it, but a combination of falling in love with the show and conversations with my friend Amber led to me writing this. Hope it doesn't totally suck. May be difficult to comprehend if you don't watch Community, but as I watch Community I'm really not in the best position to be the judge of that.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, not even Annie's Boobs. HIMYM and Annie's Boobs belong to the networks responsible for them. **

"Lily! Marshall!" The sleeping couple jolted awake, Lily shrieking and and Marshal giving a loud gasp as their friend's voice pierced the air.

Lily shook her head. "Robin?"

"Why do you keep coming into our bedroom?" Marshall asked, a hand to his chest as he tried to calm down.

"We have a bit of a problem on the Barney front," Robin said, flinging a stray strand of hair behind her shoulder.

"What's wrong with Barney?" Lily asked, sounding concerned.

"He says he's moving to Colorado. His text read…" Robin pulled her phone out and found it. "Hey Homie, off to find awesome sounding chick in CO." I asked him what he was talking about, and he said "Boobs."

"There are plenty of those in New York," Lily said.

Marshall gave her a look. "What are you saying?"

Lily smiled. "Oh, nothing, honey, I'm just saying he can't possibly have run out of girls in this city." She looked up at Robin. "Does Ted know about this?"

Robin shrugged. "I texted him asking what was up with Barney, but he just said 'at McLaren's'."

"So…" Marshall cocked his head. "Is he at McLaren's or is Barney at McLaren's?"

"Ted is, I'm assuming, Marshall! Barney is…" Robin glanced down at her phone. "Barney is off to find awesome sounding chick in Colorado."

"Okay, okay," Lily got up. "Let Marshall and I get dressed, and we'll meet you at McLaren's and see if we can figure out what's going on."

* * *

"Hey guys!" Ted raised a hand so his friends could see him, even though he was sitting at their usual table. They came over and slid into the booth. "What's up?"

"What do you mean, what's up?" Robin asked, slamming her hand on the table. "We're in a crisis situation here!"

"Robin, sweetie," Lily said, putting her hand on top of her friend's. "Calm down. Barney's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

"He's certainly been around the block a few times," Marshall said, grinning at Lily. She looked at him for a second before getting the joke, and then grinned.

"This isn't around the block, Marshall, this is an entirely different state two time zones from…_oh_!" Robin started to giggle. She pointed at Marshall, grinning. "Good one." Turning back to Ted, she continued. "Barney's run off to Colorado after some chick."

Ted couldn't hide the smirk that came to his face. "Yeah, he did."

The rest of the group fell silent. Then Lily leaned forward eagerly. "What did you do?" She slapped her hands on the table excitedly. "Ted, what did you do?"

Ted looked at her for a moment without answering, and then leaned forward, Marshall and Robin following. "So remember when Barney was giving me crap about the television I watch?" The other three nodded. "I was watching Community and texted Barney, telling him about Annie's Boobs."

"Annie's Boobs?" Lily leaned back a bit, furrowing her eyebrows. "I'm not following. What did you tell him?"

Ted opened up his phone. "Me: Barney, I just saw the most amazing thing.

Barney: I saw that last night. LMFAO

Me: You saw Annie's Boobs last night?

Barney: Boobs? Do go on.

Me: Annie's Boobs. Spectacular. Never seen anything like Annie's Boobs."

"Why are you avoiding using the pronouns?" Robin interjected. "No 'it' or 'them.'"

"I did that when I was avoiding telling Lily that Jenkins was a woman," Marshall said. His face contorted. "Oh! Is this another case of incorrect gender assumption? Sick, man!"

"Just wait," Ted said, holding up a hand to silence his best friend.

"Me: Too bad Annie's Boobs is in Colorado.

Barney: Where in Colorado?

Me: Greendale Community College.

Barney: Is Annie's Boobs available?

Me: Just ran away from previous male companion. Probably needy.

Barney: I'm there! Barnacle out."

"Ted Mosby!" Lily said. "You just sent Barney halfway across the country chasing after some poor chesty girl who's in the mindset to be taken advantage of! "

"What is wrong with you?" Robin asked.

"Wait, wait, wait," Ted said, waving a hand. "Just listen." He looked around, lowering his voice to a stage whisper. "Annie's Boobs is _a monkey._"

The group was silent for a moment. "Excuse me, what?" Robin asked, cocking her head.

Ted was cracking himself up. "Yes! A Monkey!" He slapped the table.

Lily and Marshall looked at each other, shrugged, and turned back to Ted. "Ted, back up. What about a monkey?"

"On Community!" Ted said. "One of the characters got a monkey, and named it Annie's Boobs from a contest on Twitter. Annie's one of his friends. So I had to use pronouns when telling Barney so he wouldn't figure it out!"

Lily's jaw dropped. "Ted! That's so funny!" She giggled, leaning back and putting her head on Marshall's shoulder. He was laughing, too. "Barney thinks he's going to second base a monkey!"

"Oh, Ted, this is great!" Robin said, putting her hand on Ted's shoulder. "I wonder when he's going to figure it out?"

Ted shrugged. "Who knows? 'I want to find Annie's Boobs' is bound to garner a few strange looks, that's for sure!"

"High five, buddy," Marshall said, raising his hand.

"This is going to be a story for your future kids, Ted," Lily said. "How you sent Barney halfway across the country after Annie's Boobs."

Ted grinned, crossing his arms and leaning back against the bench. "Such monkey business."

The group grinned. "He's going to kill you when he finds out," Robin said, still laughing.

"If he kills you, I'll use one of my slaps," Marshall said. "Promise."

**And there ends my first foray into the How I Met Your Mother fan writing. I know it wasn't legen-dairy, but maybe let me know what you think?**


End file.
